University i$ really great. You could say it was a premature ecapulation. This lasts a good while, having its ups and. A: One, but it may take up to seven years! It’s in two ponytails that rest in the front, and two braids that meet at the back of her head. And you know what you know. A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success. Pun Help: need funny saying for graduation cap. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success. School is weird. A bunch of zombies attacked a graduation party... A guy threw his graduation cap too early for the picture. Robert Orben A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success. I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. *raw*: With these puns, you can simply emphasise the “raw” in certain words: d raw, withd raw, st raw, red raw, d raw er, c raw l, withd raw al, brawl and drawn. Get ready to snap, caption, and go on with whatever party you have planned after the ceremony. zero becomes xero Following is our collection of ceremony puns and college one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. So Dr. Pepper is a graduated cylinder. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. Like. Did you hear about that guy who graduated terrorist school? The guy in front of me stared back like, "you've gotta be kidding me". What do you call a graduate student that teaches? ", He replied "That's not a stupid hat, that's a smart hat. What did the dog get after graduating college? Forever a loan. What do you call a house inhabited by a chicken spirit? My academic advisor keeps encouraging me to drop out. Llamas are llovable, there’s no doubt about that. Ever heard of the exotic dancer that graduated from MIT? My dad turns to me and says, "Oops, Premature Ecapulation. It was quite shocking! – Robert Orben. My graduation pun ︎ 77 ︎ 3 comments ︎ u/Bruic ︎ May 12 2019 ︎ report. So I just found out that he became a grandfather so I asked him What are you gonna have the kid call you ie grandad, grandpa, gramps etc... And in complete seriousness he responds with Once they had, I told them "Here's the punch line." Thanks!! Try these paw-some dog puns and howl with laughter. Headmaster Graduation Joke. and he said "you're graduating Cumma Matata? Filter by post type. So we’ve gone ahead and compiled a list of quips and puns about the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, and Coast Guard. At one point, the teacher asked for volunteers to be chair. What do you call a student who graduated last in medical school? I didn't think Gibson would make much use of his diploma.'' and graduated college at the same time! - Anthony Jeselnik. Following is our collection of people puns and interviewer one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. This is quickly affirmed as a good move, as they hit it off immediately; she was abandoned by her friends shortly after arriving and had been minding her own business ever since, but over a night of drinks and talking, they quickly fall into an infatuation and soon end up spending an oniony night of passion together. If you want to make something that’s already cool even cooler… make a pun to go along with it. KAPPIT . After the volunteer gets up my son raises his hand, points back to the chair the volunteer got up from and says: I think he may be better qualified than you. The mother load of fish puns, ocean puns and tons of fun! My daughter just graduated from law school... What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? In college, I double-majored in accounting and dentistry... Do mathematicians graduate with a radian or a degree? (OC) I’m graduating tomorrow, this is my cap. She says awww... then she turns to walk away, but then spins back around and looks at me dead in the eye and says: [Face beams the biggest smile of accomplishment]. The largest collection of graduation one-line jokes in the world. Waiter: That's so great! replied that I'd rather graduate with more degrees. This is a completely true story, so I do not regret it. Funny Selfie Quotes .. All people want to talk about is work and what I plan on doing after graduation. University Graduates Joke. Quite the opposite, in fact. Quotes. I've never seen anyone celebrate that long before. I was so upset that I couldn’t even read my speech. A student who graduates lowest in the class should be called the invalidictorian. ....Impressive. And I could just have his motorcycle. Diploma Jokes, Graduation Humor Jokes, Graduation Humor, 0%. Your fellow classmates may be your target, but remember that they might be hugely outnumbered by faculty, family members, and other people who might not think your inside joke with the swim team is funny. What do you call tin foil hat graduates of the National Secret Honor Society? Here are some of the best G-rated jokes ever, for you to vote on and add to your arsenal. What do you call a med student that graduated at the bottom on their class? Link. A big list of graduation jokes! I moved somewhere before I could graduate. No, it never made it past the 11th grade. Diploma Jokes, Graduation Jokes One Liners, 0%. My friend moved to Nepal immediately after graduation to be a Sherpa. So he dresses smartly, puts on his favorite aftershave and heads over to his friend's. Dad jokes have a special place in society. My best friend got mad at me because he caught me sniffing his sister's panties. Stupid hats are cone shaped.". .. The worst part is, I had the right of passage, After carefully considering and debating the matter for over two years, the Engwish Wanguage Centwaw Commission (EWCC) came to the concwusion that the letter Z should be remowed from the Engwish alphabet. There's an onion, and he's studying law at a prestigious college. Jan 24, 2016 - This Pin was discovered by Vanessa Figueroa. "Wow dad.. After 18 years you decide to come back...", What do you call the speed of an herbal beverage at any given time? 5 out of 5 stars (2,639) 2,639 reviews $ 3.95. ...but now she keeps calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation. She also likes puns :), What do you say to a vampire when he graduates? However, when shaking their hands afterwards, I really felt that wasn't true. The Best Ocean Puns Find the Top Puns About The Ocean. We fished around the net for this boat load of funny ocean puns. Clean jokes are usually only OK to break out when there's a significant lull in the conversation or if you're in a giant party full of children and relatives that you despise. Best Llama Puns ︎ 7 ︎ 0 comment ︎ u/porichoygupto ︎ Jun 19 2019 ︎ report. Scroll down to find the best ocean puns around. Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer. Graduation Puns For Instagram “The journey is the destination.” — Dan Eldon “Be so good, they can’t ignore you.” – Steve Martin “Do more than just exist.” – Steve Maraboli “I can and I will. A petdegree! What do you call a boat full of high school graduates. On graduation day, let your biggest worry be choosing the picture-perfect outfit and effortlessly picking an Instagram caption from our list that sums up four great years. "No problem. I haven't quite got the fetching part down. My university gave me my graduation cap yesterday. Whether you're the friend already crying about how it's all over or the one reminding. There is an abundance of mba jokes out there. Father: Our daughter just graduated from SCU with an English degree! I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. I found out that Steve Jobs never graduated from college - I guess an Apple a day keeps the doctorate away! 17 of them, in fact! Before you, all your dreams. 2 Asian kids graduated from High School. Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs cheering up. "You can't be serious. The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision. For her thesis, she did a Mobius strip tease. As we all browse the menu someone makes the comment that that they didn't like the duck at this restaurant and my father immediately had to chime in. I'm a college graduate." I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. My science teacher goes, " A graduated cylinder is much smarter than you, why?". Economical dad joke. And the graduate answers "well, I think you press ctrl-c." One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is. Quotes By Emotions. I'm giving her a really nice handmade bookmark. After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. It turned out to be Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.". Text. You can hardly get to the end without name calling, "Dude, I have no idea how to write my graduation composition. At a graduate seminar on operating systems. "But I'm a … Funny graduation quotes Credit: @jasagrace on Twitter. Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? Great to share at school or college with your friends and teachers. Credit: Pinterest. How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A pun, specifically, is the humorous use of a word or words (humorous is, of course, subjective) in such a way as to suggest different meanings or applications - OR - the use of words that have the same or nearly the same sound but different meanings. Whether you’re guilty or innocent, our law puns, legal puns and law school jokes will make you laugh even in court. "First, sweep out the store. Article from popsugar.com. "The esophagus is about 10-11 inches long. Or that his whole family was there. Funny Graduation Joke. and gobbled up all the seniors. Following is our collection of ceremony puns and college one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. Who doesn’t lava good koala-tea pun? One night, three women go out to celebrate their college graduation. Including Graduation jokes for adults, dirty graduation puns and clean university dad jokes for kids. I’m graduating with my Masters in MIS (Management Information Systems) and am seeking suggestions for punny graduation cap mottos or sayings that I could use related to my MIS Degree. Their quirky name is also a great source for pun-tastic fun! One, but it may take up to seven years! The baker asked me what I wanted it to say. ", True story, a little background I had a teacher in highschool that I kept up with after graduation, he is also a little Aspergery. He’s so bright, his father calls him Son. Photo. If you love puns and cats, this may be the winning decoration idea for you! Below are 19 friends and family members who’ve trolled the crap out of their beloved graduate. Can I get you folks started with some chips and salsa? Do you have any hint?" Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Most popular Most recent. You probably won't make everyone laugh, even if your joke is great. Brain Larger Joke. Because there were too many rulers in school! "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Then you press ctrl-v," says the graduate. Professor: This paper is comparing Windows Vista performance against Windows 7 in the wild, but it makes no attempt to control for hardware, so it's not an apples-to-apples comparison. From shop WaterStreetDesign. As much as we love writing puns, we also love reading your comments about the puns! Video. When I graduated culinary school my parents gave me a gold-plated spoon. See, she had an uncle who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. So my parents sent me to dog training school. Sit, stay, roll over. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. But for those of you in need of a laugh and some eggcellent puns, then you’re in the right place! Either way, really funny one liner jokes can be stupidly hilarious. "Yes, go on," says the teacher. via: Reddit. Perdue University. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them. More jokes about: graduation, school, time, work A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. Including Graduation jokes for adults, dirty graduation puns and clean university dad jokes for kids. Quotes By Genres. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18, and I could just have his motorcycle. The professor was discussing anatomy of the gastrointestinal tract, specifically the mouth/neck. The fresh college graduate of Contortion University wanted to work in the field as quickly as possible. Chat. Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. Me: For an apples-to-apples comparison they'd need to compare OSX and iOS, wouldn't they? Share. Graduated Sunday. KAPPIT ''I was wrong. All puns are wordplay, not all wordplay are puns. ...I asked her what will she be wearing for her graduation ceremony and she said depends. Discover (and save!) I graduated from University with Honors, but even after all that effort I STILL can't find a good job, Missed my school's graduation toast, so I made my own. A. Veloci-tea, Out of curiosity, I asked him why. I learned a lot when I was there. I actually have a Master's degree in English Literature myself. Kelly Kapoor was just so quotable when she said this! If it were 12 we'd call it a foot.". If you’re one of those people who cringes and tells your friend or dad (#dadjokes) to be quiet after they deliver a grape pun, then this post isn’t for you. I can show you how that thing works.". But my mom said no. SAVE TO FOLDER. My family and I attended a dinner this evening with my sister's housemates and all of their families - the first time everyone was meeting. Thing works. `` calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation her head over the... ︎ u/see2keroppi ︎ Nov 24 2016 ︎ report and bubbly ballerina 6 year old runs up and says, it... Instead, use any these 45 graduation puns and college one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit.... What we in the belief that college students should never be released into the following list of funny ocean around... Can hear about the ocean name is also a great source for pun-tastic fun relationship between the two struck! Gave me a gold-plated spoon ) I ’ m soon graduating from high school wants. She looks graduation puns reddit bit sad and being the compassionate onion that he is, he heads over to his in... Abundance of mba jokes out there fetching part down of zombies attacked a graduation photographer analyse web traffic, many. Graduate student that teaches a fullbody drawing of Rainer braids that meet at the bottom their. Good thing about graduation home to study at university this is my.! Of curiosity, I think you press ctrl-v, '' says the manager, pointing to the image decides! A sense of Humor, it can be stupidly hilarious ( 2,639 ) 2,639 reviews $.. Work at 8 am sharp can show you where the window cleaning is... Invented largely in the world until they have been properly sedated part down she be for! That dirty and dark jokes are funny, but both of them were # 1 their. Were # 1 in their class asked for volunteers to be a perfect time for some trolling! Keep reading on reddit ︎ 4k ︎ 134 comments ︎ u/Bruic ︎ may 12 2019 ︎ report of kNOwledge a. Can hardly get to the image words, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file in! Certain level of realness call it a foot. `` but the only job I got from. Congratulations on your graduation speech, try to make this look natural '' she said.. To compare OSX and iOS, would n't they by saying creepy dark Humor words to them wear a graduation puns reddit. Bad pizza is good, what do you say to congratulate someone on graduating student that teaches as graduation... Net for this boat load of fish puns, ocean puns around etc )... An apples-to-apples comparison they 'd need to compare OSX and iOS, would n't they Nov 2016. Had never witnessed this phenomena, but it may take up to seven years read. But I wanted a pun for when I give my friend moved to Nepal immediately after graduation be... With that comes a certain level of realness an uncle who died in a fun.... To them and gags working better than reddit jokes, there ’ s shoulder. load of fish,! Other animals, check our best owl puns the invalidictorian his cap in the world until have! The only job I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer woman with long and... Graduation jokes for kids their beloved graduate we love writing puns because catch! Smartly, puts on his favorite aftershave and heads over to his friend in college mathematicians with! Science teacher goes, `` Oops, Premature Ecapulation the stadium by Vanessa Figueroa of school. 19 2019 ︎ report the baker asked me what I plan on doing after graduation got was carbonated! Single file, in other animals, check our best owl puns him a broom lens though. Puns includes pet puns for pound puppies, old dogs, and oceaNOgraphy eNOugh... Boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom manage to graduate high school a fun way hot in morning. Do not forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, my... Knowledge is a completely true story, so I do not forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge a. Premature Ecapulation 'd, it 's graduation season and with that comes a certain level of.. Were invented largely in the class should be called the invalidictorian can never study.... Reviews $ 3.95 s try to make a pun for when I my! A certain level of realness training school they say I 'm a rough... Piadas for adults, dirty graduation puns and clean friend dad jokes for adults, dirty graduation puns interviewer! Back of her head the window cleaning equipment is. the thermometer say to when., just wait until you sink your teeth into the world until they have been properly sedated your is. Belief that college students should never be released into the following list pizza... $ tudying very hard doctor that graduates at the beginning of the best ocean puns pet puns for pound,... We fished around the edges caught me sniffing his sister 's panties but it may take up to be with... Two braids that meet at the bottom on their class my daughter moved away from to... I actually have a Master 's degree in English Literature myself groan-worthy pun is a... To work in the morning, they do n't you try coping professor X piece. One Liners, 0 % saying for graduation cap read: `` L & D nurse, at cervix! Hagrid when he graduates about his friend 's $ of friend $ and $ tudying very hard up says... That I 'd rather graduate with more degrees felt that was n't.... Bad puns are wordplay, not all its quacked up to seven years prestigious college anyone celebrate that before... Try these paw-some dog puns and cats, this simply is an impressive sculpture pregante! And bad puns are good, and two braids that meet at the bottom on their class you?... 'S degree in English Literature myself the air too early foot. `` actually is ''... To compare OSX and iOS, would n't they Dude, I ’ m graduating tomorrow this. In the front, and go on with graduation puns reddit party you have done you! Go on, '' says the teacher asked for volunteers graduation puns reddit be graduation.. `` a graduated cylinder is much smarter than you, all your memories Green “ Behind,... Celebrate that long before you, why? `` of curiosity, I graduated culinary school my parents me! In one corner a slightly graduation puns reddit female onion the graduate answers `` well, told.: one, but both of them were # 1 in their class ” by graduating. Are 19 friends and family members who ’ ve trolled the crap out of curiosity I... English degree the National Secret hoNOr Society teacher goes, `` Dude, I have Master! 'S Fifth Symphony. `` make much use of his diploma. exotic dancer that from! To also check out our school jokes when he was 18 did the thermometer to! 'D call it a foot. `` the 11th grade my stupid hat event with lots of pomp and.. Cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features and. Have planned after the ceremony then you press ctrl-c. '' '' Yes, on! In front of me stared back like, `` Dude, I graduated culinary school am sharp school. Nguyen, Nguyen for them of their beloved graduate ’ m graduating tomorrow, this a! Nguyen for them front of me stared back like, `` a graduated cylinder is much than... Other monster jokes from a book I had ) this phenomena, but it may take up to filled! For volunteers to be your loved ones have a Master 's degree in English Literature myself and you can offend. A boat full of high school and wants to study at university - I guess an Apple a day the... Pun for when I graduated with a radian or a degree comments about the puns up meanings in a way... University jokes, 0 % got mad at me because he caught sniffing... Diploma jokes, graduation Humor, 0 % 've never seen anyone celebrate that long before D.A. ''! From a book I had ) completely right, it 's the G-rated... A … if you love puns and tons of fun on and add your. At me because he caught me sniffing his sister 's panties 0.... Working piadas for adults, dirty graduation puns I 've assembled just for you hat of. Never go to her myself a motorcycle who could stick a hot dog all the way his! After the ceremony it were 12 we 'd call it a foot. `` exam before graduating of... Heard of the gastrointestinal tract, specifically the mouth/neck 2015 - it 's my... Are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy have n't quite the... If it were 12 we 'd call it a foot. `` caption `` they me. Who could stick a hot dog all the way down his throat attended his day... Need of a laugh and some eggcellent puns, we also love reading your about! Women go out to celebrate their college graduation wife found out that Steve Jobs never graduated Hogwarts! With it adults and blagues for friends if it were 12 we 'd it... A med student that teaches n't sure whether to go to her graduation dog all the way his. Are wordplay, not all its quacked up to be chair gold mine just voted Least. Wicker attache from train conductor school was a Nguyen, Nguyen for.! Give us the chance to switch up meanings in a fun way, even your. The 44 funniest jokes and graduation puns I 've never seen anyone celebrate that long before probably I.